I work with celebrities and in the end, we don't like each other.

For more than 20 years, I've been helping the rich get richer, the spoiled get more spoiled.  I help put celebrities in advertising.  My work boils down generally to four things:

• Giving real celebrities lots of money for lending their image - in as small a way as they can - to advertisers.
• Helping put wanna-be's on the map by giving them media exposure.
• Helping has-beens pay their mortgage.
• Handing a jackpot to normal actors.

Although they always cash our checks, in the end they're usually resentful of my clients.  Although they want the job at first, and always the cash, working with my clients makes them feel bad about themselves.  Because even the sleaziest reality show slug wants to feel like they're important.  Like they're in the driver's seat of their life.  And my clients just want to use them and slap a logo on them.

I'd laugh if I wasn't their serf.